You are at a friend’s house one evening and you suddenly witness a teenager come into the living room. The 13-year-old is asking their father to come help them brush their teeth. He dutifully excuses himself and goes back to help the teen with their nighttime ritual. As you are trying to process this odd occurrence, the younger 10-year-old sibling comes into the living room requesting his mother to come draw his bath water. The whole scenario is both humorous and concerning. Surely a 13-year-old is mature enough to brush their own teeth while their 10-year-old brother should be able to draw their own bath water. It would seem there is a lack of maturity in performing those basic life skills. On the other hand, if you gave a toothbrush to an 8-month-old infant or told them to draw their own tub of water, they would have no idea on how to do either.

When I was a young troop in the military, I watched the clock like a hawk while being ready to bust out the office door at the stroke of 4:30 p.m. I just wanted to put in the minimal time required to make sure my bosses were happy. During those work hours, I did an excellent job. When we were preparing for an Inspector General visit, I remember the master sergeant going to Walmart and buying document protectors out of his own pocket to prepare program binders. I remember being shocked and promising myself I would never spend money out of my own pocket.

Over the years I began to buy more into the mission of the Air Force as I entered the noncommissioned officer ranks. No longer did I do the bare minimum to get by but began to go the extra mile. By the end of my active-duty career, it was rare that I went home by 4:30 because my understanding had grown as to the needs of the Air Force mission. I had matured to the point I had to discipline myself into not working too many hours. That ‘end of day quitting time’ seemed to come around too quickly and I often struggled to leave the office without invading into family time. I had matured into my profession.

As a young Christian in my 20s, I went to church, prayed and read my Bible because that seemed to be the expectation from my fellow believers. Over time, I found attending church was not a burden because the activity had become a part of who I am as a believer. I gained the understanding of how the Bible demonstrates the importance of gathering with fellow believers to honor and worship Jesus Christ. I initially learned to pray over my meals and end the day with a prayer. Over time, I was no longer praying as a ritual but as a measure to draw closer to God as I seek HIs will for my life.

While I have shared some insights into my own maturity process in professional and spiritual life, I can assure you I am not the epitome of maturity. It is still a journey even 63 years into this life. But I have discovered the greatest model of spiritual maturity lies in the traditional depiction of the cross of Christ. The crosses used in Rome probably did not look like the typical cross we see today on gold chains or in the front of sanctuaries. However, they likely had a horizontal and vertical bar. True Christian maturity recognizes our relationship with God is of a vertical nature similar to the cross. Nevertheless, we are not to have only a relationship with God to the detriment of those around us. True maturity also realizes our obligation to have healthy horizontal relationships with those around us.

Unfortunately, COVID relocated many from the pews of worship to couches of comfort. While that was debatably needed during the pandemic, please recognize your call from the body of Christ is to return to the churches of our community. People aren’t perfect and neither are the churches where they worship. There is a place for you. The biblical model is for believers to congregate, contemplate and celebrate the risen Savior. True maturity rests in recognizing the call of Jesus is to participate in the body of Christ as well as your relationship with Him. We need you and look forward to shaking your hand.

Tony “T-Bar” Barnes is a 28-year veteran of the Marine Corps and Air Force. He is also retired from the Department of Veteran Affairs. Tony is active in patient advocacy roles and can be reached at tbarnugget@yahoo.com