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Dear Donna: Woman reluctant to rekindle relationship

Dear Donna,

Six months ago, I dated a man for about three months. I really liked him and wanted to get to know him better. However, he continued to call at the last minute with expectations of getting together, and I told him that wasn’t working for me. The last time he waited two weeks to return my call so I did not return his call. Now he is calling, wanting to make plans to get together and he seems interested in seeing me. I don’t want to waste time only to be disappointed again. Should I give it another try? – Diana

Dear Diana,

It could be worth your time to meet with him for coffee or lunch – something light and casual during the day. If he wants to rekindle the relationship, be clear about what did not work for you the last time. If you don’t go, you never will know. See what he has to say and go from there.

Dear Donna,

A lady I dated 20 years ago in college connected with me on Facebook from a website that is organizing the college’s 20-year reunion. We live in different states but have been communicating by phone and email regularly the past few weeks. We are planning to attend the reunion and I am looking forward to seeing her, but I am concerned about her expectations. She is recently divorced, and I think she feels we are going to pick up where we left off. I want to go and spend time with everyone and I don’t want her to monopolize my time, but I cannot think of a nice way to tell her this. What do you suggest? – Ben

Dear Ben,

Don’t give her any reason to expect that you are going to pick up where you left off. If she does not get any encouragement from you, her enthusiasm will diminish. Cutting back on the phone calls and emails is probably a good idea. When you do communicate, stay focused on the reunion and reconnecting with everyone else.

Don’t be so nice that she misunderstands your intentions. If all else fails, be direct and let her know you plan to mix and mingle with everyone.

–

Shugrue owns Perfectly Matched. Her column runs biweekly in Home and Family. Visit perfectlymatcheddating.com or email questions to donnashugrue@comcast.net.

Donna Shugrue
Donna Shugrue
Tags life


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