Dear Donna,

Do you think the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” is true? I have been married for seven years. My husband recently told me he had too much to drink on a hunting trip a few months ago and had a one-night stand with some girl he met in a bar. He said he loves me, he is consumed with guilt, that it has never happened before and it will never happen again and he wants me to forgive him.

I thought we had the perfect marriage and I want to forgive him, but I don’t know if I can ever trust him again. I thought he was incapable of doing something like this, and I am brokenhearted.

Dear Brokenhearted,

Most sayings come about for a reason, but they are not always true. Alcohol makes people do stupid things. That is no excuse for what happened, but at least he confessed to you and asked you to forgive him. The seven-year itch is also a well-known phenomenon that could be a part of this picture. A seven-year marriage that you thought was perfect and a husband who says he loves you, confesses and asks for forgiveness deserves a second chance. I encourage both of you to seek counseling for guidance on how to navigate through this difficult time. Regaining the trust can be difficult, but I do believe you can learn to trust him again and perhaps have a marriage that will be stronger than ever.

Dear Donna,

My girlfriend has a brother who takes advantage of her financially and emotionally. She is the sweetest person on Earth and refuses to see how she enables him and lets him take advantage of her. She always makes excuses for him and runs to rescue him every time he calls.

Now he has moved in with her “temporarily” and it is affecting our relationship more than ever. I don’t want to end this relationship, but I am about to tell her either he goes or I go. Anonymous.

Dear Anonymous,

A brother/sister relationship can be a very strong bond. I would not draw the line in the sand and say it is him or me. Talk to her calmly and let her know you seriously question whether you can stay in the relationship if she continues to allow him to manipulate her. Although you think she refuses to see the light, she probably knows on some level that he is taking advantage of her. The realization that she might lose you could be the eye-opener she needs to change her relationship with her brother.

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Shugrue owns Perfectly Matched. Her column runs biweekly in Family. Email questions to donnashugrue@comcast.net or visit perfectlymatcheddating.com.